The Cannery Incident of 2008

So yesterday Elisa and I and our Relief Society President Donna went to the Cannery in Greensboro. We were all excited for the adventure and I was feeling really good about getting food storage for my family. I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do and I was feeling great about it. We got there and heard a message about the importance of food storage and saving money and all that followed by a lovely testimony from the Sister in charge. We started with an opening prayer...then the Chaos began. There was another ward there to can some stuff for their ward. Let me explain...there are 2 types of cannery people. Those that are coming to purchase and CAN things there at the cannery and the people that have come to purchase things and take them HOME to can...these are the Bulk people. So me Elisa and Donna are on the BULK people side. We are there to get our cans and food and get outta dodge. Enter LISA from the Pineville ward...AKA the Can and Food POLICE. We were loading up our cans...we needed 45 of them and our food order...minding our own business and Lisa comes by and very snarkily says "oh it's a good thing there isn't a ration on cans". We ignored that comment and kept loading our stuff so we could get home...meanwhile all around us the Can people were working themselves into a FRENZY. Practically running to can their food before us Bulk people took 'their' food right out from under them. So here comes Lisa AGAIN...and says "oh I guess we are heading to Costco after this huh". Now I am starting to get irritated...still not saying anything...but then she comes back AGAIN and made some smart comment...something about the CANS again...and I had to say something...you know me... :)
I look at her and say..."Look we are canning the stuff we are getting HERE tonight..." to which she accuses..."Well I hope that you checked the board outside and saw the rationing of items and that you didn't get more than what you are supposed to get." NOW I am fired up...really?? I am trying to do what the LORD wants me to do...trying to get into Heaven and be prepared for my family and LISA is trying to pick a FIGHT in the Cannery cause she THINKS we are taking her food?? Oh NOOOO...NOW it is on. I look at Lisa and say...Look...we checked the board and we are getting only what we are supposed to get...we are NOT going to steal from the Lord's house OK?? Do you want to check out cart?" Now that was a rhetorical question to show this woman how RIDICULOUS she was being...She looked at me and said YES!!!!!
She has got BRASS ONES!!!!!!!!!!
At this point I just stopped talking to her and I turned to Elisa in shock and disbelief only to find that Elisa is just as appalled as I am....I ignored the Can Nazi from that point on because the ONLY thing I could think to say was...Hey Lisa...Last week I was here and I canned some Whoop A@#...don't make me rotate my food storage on you...
Then I would have gotten kicked out of the cannery and that would have been bad...I held it together and we loaded up and left...PIECE OF WORK...
Hey Lisa...wherever you are....I coming in January...and I am getting YOUR WHEAT!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK I feel better...venting is good....
And so are potato pearls...and dry milk and black beans...and wheat...and dried apples!!!